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Cake or Death?

Variety Is The Spice Of Bad

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Community - Annie side eyed eating
I stumbled upon a list of creepy wikipedia articles and instead of studying for exams, I'm going through them one by one. I ended up on Peter Kurten, The Vampires of Dusseldorf. There was sentence that seemed straight forward at first, but I found myself having trouble parsing it.

"As a youth he was employed by the local dogcatcher, who taught him to masturbate and to torture dogs." So you see, this sentence could mean that the man taught him to: masturbate the dog and torture the dog, separately; masturbate the dog and torture the dog simultaneously; masturbate while torturing the dog; masturbate himself and torture the dog separately. These are CLEARLY important things to know. So I asked Mark on FB  "What does this sentence mean?"

and he replied:

"Erm, it means that the local dogcatcher business/institution is corrupt and/or apathetic, and certainly lackluster"

The more I read that, the more I laugh. Bless.
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i looooove reading about people like that on wikipedia!! child murderers are crazy to read about, just because i can't imagine someone so young having so much hate in them already. i always read about people like that when i can't sleep but it usually keeps me up even longer

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